Tom Cruise, strapping heterosexual man who loves women as much as he loves being 6’4 and not having sex with dudes, went to Matt Damon‘s birthday party the other night, where he was spanked by a drag queen. But it totally wasn’t, like, weird or anything. Just one dude in a dress spanking another dude. On the butt. HAHA! Straight people bein’ straight! Page Six reports …
om Cruise and Matt Damon got spankings Saturday night at a naughty birthday bash for Damon. Cruise was spotted at Simon Hammerstein’s London club The Box to toast Damon’s 42nd birthday, along with The Avengers hunk Chris Hemsworth, Emily Blunt, Bill Paxton and party organizer John Krasinski. “Tom arrived solo,” said a spy, who added that the Hollywood heavyweights all “got paddled on their rears” by the club’s cross-dressing hostess. “Matt got some extra spanking” for being the birthday boy, and, “they all had a fantastic night enjoying the shows and partying till the end.” Hammerstein, meanwhile, is prepping his latest performance-based club, The Act, which opens in Las Vegas on Oct. 25.
Oh, wait, Chris Hemsworth got paddled too? I’ll be in my bunk. Oh don’t you judge me, that’s Thor we’re talking about. Like you wouldn’t with Thor.