Tila Tequila wants to box Lindsay Lohan?!

Tila Tequila

When we last checked in on famewhore Tila Tequila, she was still irrelevant and didn’t quite understand that the world wanted her to die already. And that’s still the case, because apparently the useless twat is still here and she wants to box Lindsay Lohan because crackheads punching each other is ratings gold. Dream big, Tila. Dream big. RadarOnline reports:

“I’m tiny but mighty! The gloves will probably weigh more than I do, but I’m fast,” Tila told RadarOnline in an exclusive interview.

“Big things come in small packages! May the best woman win.” Tila, who just turned 30 years old on Monday, is still looking for an opponent for her November 5th match at The Avalon in Los Angeles.

“It would be fun to box Lindsay Lohan,” Tila said when asked who she’d like to go head-to-head with. “Two Hollywood bad girls — can’t go wrong with that one!

“Then we can kiss and make up or make-out afterwards,” Tila joked.

On one hand, nothing says your acting career is over like being associated in any way, shape or form with a slutty bridge troll. On the plus side, I’ve finally figured out a way for Lindsay to avoid jail time forever!

Judge Saunter: Lindsay, you’ve blown off your community service, drove your car through the courthouse and you still have a rolled-up dollar bill up your nostril. What do you have to say for yourself?
Lindsay: I punched Tila Tequila to death.
Judge Saunter: Now that’s community service! Here’s a Get Out of Jail for Life card just for you!

Tila Tequila

About JEREMY FEIST 4970 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.