Snooki is having a baby boy!

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi and Jionni LaValle

Because Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi is actually going to go through with this, In Touch gave her a cover story to tell the world that she’s having a baby boy. Fantastic, now we have a proper pronoun for whom we must pray for.

Snooki tells In Touch that she and Jionni LaValle are deciding between two names – Lorenzo or Jionni Jr. And while she’s thrilled to welcome a son, the 24-year-old admits she was hoping for a mini-me. “I thought it was going to be a girl. I was hoping it would be, because all girls want girls,” Snooki says, at first disappointed, but adding, “It’s still my baby, no matter what. I’m excited either way!”

Proudly showing off her baby bump at the exclusive photo shoot, the mom-to-be says she’s traded in her beloved pickles and now craves icy, cold treats. “I love anything cold and juicy, like Italian ices.” But even more surprising? While some women find their sex drive enhanced during pregnancy, you won’t find Snooki and Jionni anywhere near the smush room! “Our sex life is hardly there! I just feel too icky and gross,” Snooki confides. “I’m so not in the mood to do stuff.”

Wait, so is the fact that he doesn’t have to have sex with Snooki a plus or what? This one could honestly go either way, and it’s only going to be exacerbated by the fact that sex after pregnancy can hurt like a bitch. Seriously, STITCHES. It requires STITCHES down there after you give birth. Say YES to drugs.

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi and Jionni LaValle

About JEREMY FEIST 4970 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.