In case you were wondering why Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez broke up AGAIN, here’s Star magazine reporting that the final straw was Justin’s alleged marijuana-fueled romp with a nursing student named Milyn ‘Mimi’ Jenson. Is it true? Well, it came out of Star, so draw your own conclusions, but I’m kind of hoping it is true because white trash Bieber has officially become my favorite version of Bieber, and this is Justin at his white trashiest. AMAZING. Via RadarOnline …
“Justin surprised her by saying, ‘I want to know if you taste good.’ He started kissing her cheek and ear and neck and then her whole body,” the insider said. Then, the Biebs removed Mimi’s clothes and engaged in sexual activity with her. Justin, who stayed clothed the entire time, ended things quickly after the marathon session, despite Mimi’s hopes he’d take things further. “He seemed out of it, and even though he didn’t ask Mimi to leave, she decided she should go,” the source said, noting that Justin didn’t kiss her on the lips. Mimi, who had no comment when contacted by Star, “thought Justin was single, and he definitely acted like he was,” the source said. Shortly afterwards, Selena called it quits with Justin, and has since gone public about the relationship’s definite conclusion, having been spotted with a mystery man following her concert in New York over the weekend.
There’s also a bunch of other stuff about how he allegedly drank sizzurp, talks about how much he loves tattoos and Xanax, and wants to build himself hookah lounge, and I’m not gonna lie, this version of Justin is the best. There’s just something hysterically funny about seeing a coddled teenager grow up into redneck douche with zero self-awareness. It’s like Kevin Federline was reincarnated into a twelve-year-old boy.