Because let’s not even try and pretend anymore that the Internet is just a dumping ground for famous titties, nude pictures were leaked onto the web early today featuring a woman who is allegedly Scarlett Johansson (allegedly being the key phrase here, because they couldn’t look any faker if they were colored on construction paper using crayons) showing off the goods. Which is an absolute outrage, because we all know famous titties should only be whipped out in order to win an Oscar! The Huffington Post reports:
Back in March, TMZ reported that a group of hackers stole the nude photos of up to 50 A-list actresses, hacking into their email accounts to take the sensitive shots. Vanessa Hudgens, who was one of the most prominent victims of naked piracy, spoke with the FBI about the situation, and word was that the investigators were hot on the trail of the hackers. Amongst the starlets who allegedly had their pictures compromised was Scarlett Johansson, and early Wednesday, the photos leaked online to a number of sites. Whether or not the pictures are real remains to be seen (they look less than authentic, to say the least), but TMZ now reports that sources close to the actress confirm that she is dealing with the FBI over the matter.
While I have no idea if the photos really are of Scarlett, the FBI is apparently getting involved now because God help us all when we can see boobs on the internet. You know, without going on to Google and typing “BOOBS” and hitting the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button because who the shit are we kidding, as long as they big and bouncy and attached to a female, straight men don’t give a shit whose nipples they’re staring at. Or as my father put it, “tits is tits”. (Click the image below for the NSFW version!)
