Super fun pop quiz time! If you’ve been on the Internet in the past few hours you’ve probably heard this one, but for those who haven’t, here’s your quiz: Patton Oswalt went to a pumpkin patch recently with his family, and a certain skanky famewhore was there posing for the paparazzi she paid to tag along with her because that’s the only reason people care about her. Patton tweeted the whole thing and completely destroyed her, because that’s just the kind of dude he is. Now, name that slut!
Dear Gross, Over-Sexualized Reality Star Nobody Currently at Mr. Bones’ Pumpkin Patch, Posing for The Photogs You Hired To Come: Please Die
Seriously, this is a place for little kids and this mildew-ey swamp slut is treating it like an FHM shoot. I have no idea who she is.
This is so sad. She’s got some hag-like publicist throwing her toys to pose with. Dressed like a “sexy” pirate. Fuck. Off.
NO WAY am I taking a picture of this silicon-chested scarecrow. I DO want to gather some goose shit from the petting zoo & pelt her.We’ve left. She’s still there, on top of inflatable skeleton slide posing like a goddamn spaz. Skeezy redhead. Don’t know name, don’t care.
Yup, she’s a redhead, which means she’s not Courtney Stodden after all! I know, SUPER HUGE M-NIGHT-SHYAMALAN-TWIST UP IN YO FACE. Turns out it was actually Phoebe Price, a woman I’m convinced only exists in the mind of DListed‘s Michael K that somehow managed to claw her way out through his ear-hole, which sounds crazy, I know. But if you think about it, it would be even crazier to think that a woman this whorish and ridiculous could be wandering around out there not dead.
