Oh look, the whores hate each other now!

Ha ha ha, Paris Hilton is sad now because everyone’s pretty much forgotten her skanky ass and are now all about Kim Kardashian‘s wide-load. Especially since Paris reportedly taught Kim all the tricks of the trade: How to flash your goods while getting out of the car, how to smuggle coke in your vagina, and how to make everyone hate you by doing nothing!

“It was Paris who really showed Kim the ropes,” said a longtime observer and acquaintance of both women. “Thanks to Paris, Kim learned how to work a red carpet, develop a reality TV show and — most important — turn herself and her entire family into a major marketing brand, now worth millions.” According to the source, Hilton is somewhat irked that Kardashian is paid far more than she is for special appearances and overall makes more now from her various endorsement deals and the Kardashians’ multiple reality shows. SOURCE

Wait, why are these two making money at all? They don’t do anything! Hey, yesterday I play Okami for two straight hours while eating a dick-shaped gingerbread Christmas cookie, and guess how much money I made from that? Ready? Nothing. That’s what I deserved, and that’s what these two deserve. Can we just get Santa to sick Krampus on these two bitches?

About JEREMY FEIST 4970 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.