Good new everyone! Well, specifically Miley Cyrus. It turns out Billy Ray Cyrus and Tish Cyrus won’t be getting divorced after all! Yeah, in an attempt to pull his family together, Billy Ray forgave Tish for fucking Bret Michaels, I’m assuming because he figured whatever STDs she caught from him were karmic enough.
“I’ve dropped the divorce,” Cyrus, 49, said during an interview on The View scheduled to air on Friday. “I want to put my family back together … Things are the best they’ve ever been. I feel like I got my Miley back in a way,” he added during Thursday’s taping. “I feel like we are the daddy and daughter that we were before Hannah Montana happened.” SOURCE
So basically, Miley managed to get her parents back together by convincing him that Hannah Montana turned her into a stripper? Sure, why not. Anyway, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go send an email to my parents about how Phineas and Ferb turned me into a drug dealer and I’ll only stop if they stop throwing empty bottles at each other in public. Ha! Suckers …