Michael Lohan is a gigolo now?

Michael Lohan

While his daughter, Lindsay Lohan, is off having a career and trying to be a respectable actress again, Michael Lohan is revitalizing his famewhore career by entering an agreement with a website where people can pay to go out on a “first date” with him. You know what? I’m just going to come out and say it: For $10,000, Michael will essentially be your prostitute for an evening.

For the princely sum of $10,000, Lindsay’s father will wine you and dine you – with the firm promise that he won’t “kiss and tell.” RadarOnline.com has the Lohan low lowdown:

– $10,000 minimum first date offer
– First class airfare if he has to travel out of state for the date
– Four star hotel accommodations or better

But, will there be hanky panky?

“Let me ask you,” the 50-year-old Lohan said, “What happens on a dinner date? I don’t kiss and tell.” SOURCE

Oh for God’s sake … “Hanky panky”? Is Radar written by eight-year-olds? Jesus, just say “fucking” like a normal, well-developed adult. Anyway, back on point. Everything about this pretty much screams “gigolo”, which I totally don’t mind because let’s face it, a boy’s gotta eat. What does surprise me is that someone would pay money to go on a date with a man who kicked his ex-girlfriend in the vagina. Seriously, between this and the Charlie Sheen sex doll that SOLD OUT AFTER ONE DAY, you straight boys really need to change your game. “Hey girl, I saw you from across the room. Just wanted to say hi … *Kick in the vagina, gunshot to the face* so wanna get coffee sometime?”

Michael Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 4832 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.