If Lindsay Lohan is known for anything, it’s for being a considerate, rational human being who respects others and doesn’t try and trample over others out of a sense of falsely-earned superiority. Oh, wait, I mean the exact opposite of everything I just said. Anyway, Lindsay’s latest stunt was showing up to the birthday party of Clint Eastwood‘s daughter Francesca Eastwood and demanding that someone make her leave because she wasn’t as big a star as her. Via Us Weekly …
“Francesca was celebrating her birthday with around a dozen friends in a private area when Lindsay came over and started screaming that Francesca should leave,” the source says. “She was yelling ‘I’m a star, she’s a nobody, get her out of here!'” The source continues, “One poor guy came over and tried to calm [Lindsay] down and she acted aggressively. At that point the security told her to leave and it was totally embarrassing. She is acting like some bad ’80s film star, and it is hard to watch because she needs help.” But before Lohan embarked on her journey home, she and her party made one more cringe-worthy snafu. “Lindsay’s friend was driving and they sped out and almost hit one of the valet guys,” a witness tells Us.
Wait, does it surprise anyone else that Lindsay’s night almost ended with vehicular manslaughter? No? Me neither. Anyway, none of this should really surprise anyone because Lindsay’s hobby is demanding that people move things because she’s LiLo. She’s basically like Moses, except instead of leading the Jewish people out of Egypt by having God part the Red Sea, she gets drunk and then spends the night screaming at traffic cones. “MOVE IT, GIANT ORANGE PENIS, I WAS IN THE PARENT TRAP!” That metaphor works perfectly, right?