As we move along to the next step in the “Lindsay Lohan Fuck-Up Cycle”, it’s time again for LiLo to proclaim that, thanks to her new found sobriety, she’s now a shoo-in to win an Oscar. You know, because the Oscars are given out based on whether or not you can keep your nose out of the booger sugar. “*Snort* Well fuck, there goes my nomination …” TMZ reports:
Lohan explained, “I regret the choices that I’ve made … but I’m grateful for where I am today because of them, because … I don’t need to see any more negative stuff, I don’t need to put myself in those places anymore.” Lindsay also talked about her time at the morgue — telling Matt it’s been a positive learning experience that’s helping her in the long run. When asked where she’ll be in 5 years, Lohan said, “Hopefully I’ll have just come from the Oscars this past weekend” … adding, “I want to get back to acting.”
Okay, just to clarify what I mean by the Lindsay Lohan Fuck-Up Cycle, allow me to extrapolate …
- Lindsay Lohan fucks up.
- Lindsay Lohan makes excuses and blames everyone else for her fuck up.
- The California legal system gives her a free pass.
- Lindsay proclaims her life to be back on track.
- Lindsay celebrates by going on a morning talk show.
- Lindsay says that she has stopped partying (she hasn’t).
- Lindsay says that she’ll win an Oscar in five years (she won’t).
- Lindsay starts feeling comfortable, until…
- Return to step 1: Lindsay Lohan fucks up.