Lindsay Lohan lost $10,000 in Hawaii!

Lindsay Lohan

You know, for a second there I was worried that we had lost the Lindsay Lohan we knew and- well, I wouldn’t say “loved” but I guess tolerated is as good a word as any. She hasn’t really been in the news all that much lately, which I assumed meant she had finally turned over a new leaf, and had learned to finally moderate how much time she spends partying versus how much time she spends working, and how to take responsibility for her own actions. And then she lost her purse at a house party in Hawaii and had $10,000 stolen from it, so I guess scratch off that last sentence. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan completely wigged after some jackass stole her purse in Hawaii this weekend– telling friends, she was terrified the ordeal would land her in jail … and TMZ has obtained audio of her expletive-filled freak out. Take a listen … moments after Lindsay discovered her bag was missing … she says, “I will f**king kill someone if I even have to get questioned [inaudible] jail for a year.” Lindsay was petrified she’d be stranded in Hawaii without her ID — forcing her to miss her court date in L.A. Wednesday morning … a misstep that could have potentially gotten her probation revoked, and landed her butt behind bars. Lindsay can relax — TMZ broke the story — her passport and court documents permitting travel were eventually returned along with Lindsay’s $5,000 Chanel purse. However, she’s still short $10,000 cash.

Which all brings me to my next point: why and how is Lindsay in Hawaii when she’s still on a (apparently, not so) strict probation? Who the hell brings $10,000 to a house party? What else was in that purse that could have landed Lindsay in jail? Nothing about this scenario makes any sense, until you remember that it’s LiLo we’re talking about, and suddenly everything makes sense.

Lindsay Lohan

PHOTO | FAME PICTURES

About JEREMY FEIST 4832 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.