Lindsay Lohan is going to court after all

Lindsay Lohan

UPDATE: Lindsay Lohan made it to court … watch the live stream on TMZ!

Lindsay Lohan

Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan tried to duck out of her court case by pretending that she was sick, sorta like how I used to try and duck out of gym class by saying that I was allergic to dodgeballs and ultimate frisbee; No one ever believed me, nor should they have believed me. Well, it turns out that TMZ actually had pictures of Lindsay out shopping (and smoking) the day she was supposedly sick, and after they hit the web and everyone realized Lindsay was lying, Lindsay used her last valid credit card to buy herself a first class plane ride to Los Angeles for her court date.

TMZ broke the story … Lindsay had no intention of showing up in her lying-to-cops case and got a doctor’s note which was filed with the court, saying she couldn’t fly because she had an upper respiratory infection. But then we posted pictures of Lindsay shopping and smoking in SoHo the very day she got the doctor’s note.

We’re told Lindsay went into a panic after we posted our story Tuesday and started calling everyone to find out if we were right … that the judge would probably issue a warrant for her arrest if she didn’t show. Our Lindsay sources say she was pleading with Shawn Holley — the lawyer she fired — to come back on the case, saying she didn’t like her replacement — New York lawyer Mark Heller.

Holley made it clear days ago … she’s off the case, so it’s now up to Heller, who clearly started off on the wrong foot by submitting the doctor’s note, along with a New York Post article saying a lot of people in NYC had the flu.

Heller has another problem — the lawyer he got to sponsor him to appear in a California court has never met him, and it’s possible the judge could deny him the right to represent Lindsay.

You know, we used to say that the only reason Lindsay Lohan wasn’t getting into prison yard knife-fights over cigarettes was because she blew a genie, but nope! Turns out it was Shawn Holley all along. That lady is more powerful than ten genie blow jobs.

Lindsay: Listen Shawn, you need to come back. The judge didn’t believe me when I said I had the flu.
Shawn: Let me guess: You pressed a thermometer against a lightbulb and licked your palms?
Lindsay: Ginny, the magical talking gin bottle, said it would work.
Shawn: Lindsay, I keep telling you that’s just an empty gin bottle with googley-eyes glued to it.
Ginny: She doesn’t believe in us Lindsay. Shun the non-believer! SHUN! SHUN!
Lindsay: SHUN!
Ginny: SHUN!
Shawn: I’m leaving now.
Lindsay: SHUN!

About JEREMY FEIST 4970 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.