How does Lindsay Lohan still have a driver’s license?

Lindsay Lohan

It confuses me how Lindsay Lohan still has a driver’s license, especially since the poor dumb-dumb drives like she’s auditioning for the part of Penelope Pitstop in the live-action reboot of The Wacky Races. Anyway, Lindsay once again got behind the wheel of a Porsche — you know, the car she claims has non-functional brakes? Yeah. — and wouldn’t you know it, she got into yet another fender bender. I know. Total shocker. Never saw it coming. TMZ reports:

Here’s the blow-by-blow: accident-prone Lindsay chose to get behind the wheel of her black Porsche Panamera after a shopping trip in Bev Hills this afternoon. A short while later, while cruising down Sunset Boulevard, Lindsay tapped the back of a silver Mustang … that wasn’t moving. A woman in the Mustang says, “We were sitting at a light and somebody hit us.” The woman says a male passenger in Lindsay’s car apologized and left his phone number … before telling her they had to keep going because paparazzi were following them. The Mustang’s damage appears to be extremely minor and cosmetic. It’s unknown if Lindsay’s car suffered any bumps or dings.

Call me crazy, but don’t you usually leave your insurance information? And not your phone number? Actually, that’s probably the closest Lindsay has ever come to responsibility. Can you believe she got into an accident and had someone else barely cover for her? That’s almost the right thing to do! Only, you know, it totally isn’t! In all fairness, this is what happens when you take driver’s education by having your Mom make you play Mario Kart 64 while she goes out for gin and smokes.

Lindsay Lohan

About JEREMY FEIST 4970 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.