Kris Humphries wants $$$ from Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

Because being fake married to Kim Kardashian is a fate worse than even the deepest, darkest circles of hell, it’s understandable that Kris Humphries managed to claw himself out of the pit of lies and skankery and now he wants a little compensation for being strung along into a plotline for Kim’s fake reality show. Which is why he’s demanding $7 Million for an out of court settlement with Kim, and claiming that Kim also took his share of the $18 Million they made off the fake wedding. You know, the $18 Million Kim claims she never made? Yeah, that money. TMZ reports:

We’re told before they were hitched … Kim and Kris opened a joint account in which they deposited all the money they made from the wedding and other ventures. Our sources say Kris did indeed get money for selling wedding photos and appearing on the Kardashian reality show … but they say all that money went into the joint account and Kris never got any of it. Here’s what’s perplexing. Since it was a joint account, Kris would have as much access to the money as Kim. But sources connected to Kris say he’s never attempted to withdraw any of it. As we reported yesterday … Kris wants millions from Kim as part of the divorce settlement, even though they were together in marriage for only 72 days. Sources close to Kris tell us … he doesn’t even care about the money — all he wants is an annulment.

Ah yes, it should be mentioned that Kris is a religious man, as well as kind of a dumb-dumb, so of course all he really wants out of this is an annulment. You know, because when you’re stuck in the most nihilistic and utilitarian example of a marriage, your first instinct is to immediately do it again. Go figs.

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

About JEREMY FEIST 4970 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.