Kris Jenner sent reviewer Linda Stasi a pen …

Kris Jenner

The other day, Linda Stasi wrote a scathing review of Kris Jenner‘s new daytime talk show. Well, actually the review was entirely fair, because Kris’ show really is a f**king garbage heap, so calling it out as such isn’t so much “scathing” as it is “completely justified.” Anyway, in response to Stasi’s review, Kris allegedly sent her a Tiffany pen so that she could write a better review next time.

Honestly, I’m not sure if that’s really a bribe. I mean really, ooooooooh a pen. How awesome. No, I’m more inclined to assume that this is like that button from Drag Me To Hell.

Kris: Hey sis! Long time no see! How are the kids?
Lamia: FANTASTIC! I JUST LAID ANOTHER BATCH OF EGGS IN THE RIVERS OF INNOCENT BLOOD. THAT HATCHLINGS SHALL FEAST ON THE CORPSE OF HOPE.
Kris: Ha ha! That sounds nice. Kim just had her baby too! Anyway, I need you to take care of this reviewer for me …
Lamia: SAY NO MORE. HER SOUL SHALL BE FOREVER MINE IN THREE NIGHTS.
Kris: Great! Well, tell the nieces and nephews I say hi. We should do brunch sometime.
Lamia: OH, I’VE SIMPLY BEEN DYING FOR A GOOD BRUNCH. I CAN DO ANYWHERE THAT’S GLUTEN-FREE. YOU KNOW HOW WHITE FLOWER GOES STRAIGHT TO MY EIGHT THIGHS.

About JEREMY FEIST 4832 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.