Kate Gosselin calls facelift rumors a compliment!

Kate Gosselin

So last week, I pointed out how Kate Gosselin has once again contorted her face into a brand new mask of human-ish looking flesh even though she keeps complaining about having no money now that America has moved into celebrities with even more spacious vaginas than her own. Anyway, the shrieking structure of flesh-like substances formerly known as Kate smelled attention, and wants you all to know that it’s a huge compliment that you all remembered that she’s still alive and that she hasn’t melted into a bubbling puddle of famewhore stew. Yet. Access Hollywood reports:

In fact, Kate takes it as a compliment. “With all the buzz about me having had a facelift, I will confirm that I have not had one (I am only 36!!!),” the Plus 8 mom posted in a new blog on CouponCabin.com. “But I will take all of the talk about how rested and young I look as a compliment! So thanks!” she added in the post, titled “’Facing’ Facts: I Reveal My Secrets.”

Only Kate can hear someone go “Oh dear God, why is that woman with a stretched-out camel’s vagina for a face not screaming her dying words at us? Someone go euthanize her with fire” and think that’s actually a compliment. Every time I see her, all I can think about is why Gumby’s horse is wearing a wig and bolt-on tits. Kate’s face has been tucked and pulled more than a drag queen’s balls, the only difference being that the drag queen’s balls have less wrinkles.

Kate Gosselin

About JEREMY FEIST 4832 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.