Justin Bieber and Mariah Carey are doing an Xmas duet

Justin Bieber and Mariah Carey

Hold on to your vinyl copies of Bon Iver‘s For Emma, Forever Ago kiddies, because I’m about to lower my wall of cynically cool hipsterism and the resulting bomb may blow your world wide open: I love Mariah Carey‘s first Christmas album. I’m not even being ironic about this either, I just like it! My mother and I still get drunk on cosmos every year and sing our way through All I Want For Christmas Is You. Well, Mariah has decided to retread those fine suteps and ruin the song by making a funky fresh updated version to be featured on Justin Bieber‘s upcoming Christmas album. Ugh. Via The Hollywood Reporter:

Justin Bieber and Mariah Carey will duet on his Christmas album, Under the Mistletoe, which hits stores on Nov. 1. They’ll sing an updated version of her hit holiday tune, All I Want for Christmas Is You. Usher will be featured on The Christmas Song. Boyz II Men, Busta Rhymes and The Band Perry will also make guest appearances.

Yay, another Xmas album! Featuring the same corny songs I’ve already heard a million times before because the recording industry needs ten more bucks from you and I. What, have you gotten tired of the yacht you bought with last year’s Xmas album money and you want the new model made of pure Elephant tusk? I just like the things I like and I don’t want to have to buy them all over again in a year because you decided to add tiny, insignificant details to them! This is why Star Wars fans hate George Lucas!

Justin Bieber and Mariah Carey

About JEREMY FEIST 4970 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.