So apparently, after having one hell of a bad month and turning himself into a social pariah, Justin Bieber has decided to move to Atlanta. As in, the hip-hop capital of the US. It’s adorable how he thinks he’s hip-hop, ain’t it? Anyway, TMZ immediately jumped on the opportunity to burst Justin’s bubble, pointing out that even a small of weed will get you sent to jail for a decade while sizzurp lands you up to fifteen years. Oh, and Georgia also doesn’t give a sh!t if you’re famous. So he’s boned.
Here’s the problem … and it’s a big one. In Georgia, possession of a tiny bit of weed is a misdemeanor that can land you in jail for one year. And, if it’s more than an ounce, it becomes a FELONY and the maximum penalty is A DECADE BEHIND BARS. By contrast … in California 28.5 grams of pot or less is like a traffic ticket. And more than 28.5 grams is just a misdemeanor with the max penalty of six months in county jail. As for sizzurp … in Georgia even a tiny bit of unprescribed codeine can land you in prison for 15 YEARS.
At first, I was just going to write this off as hypothesizing of what could potentially happen, but then I remembered that this is Justin. No one is going to tell him he can’t have weed or sizzurp.
Judge: You’ve been charged with possession of marijuana and codeine. How do you plead?
Justin: I’m rich and famous.
Judge: Cute. You’re getting 25 years.
Justin: So we’re not going to Menchie’s after this?
Judge: Well, if they’re still around by 2039 …