Confession time: I never got the appeal of Johnny Depp. Nope. Never. I get it: he’s wearing a fedora and a scarf. Isn’t he precious? Whatever. Anyway, yesterday he showed everyone why he never talks to the media, specifically because he’s out of his tiny hipster mind, by saying that getting paid massive amounts of money to have his picture taken is like rape in the latest issue of Vanity Fair magazine. Anyway, now he’s saying that he’s very sorry for the comment and he would appreciate it if you just forgot that he’s a colossal dumbass. Via The Huffington Post:
“Well, you just feel like you’re being raped somehow,” he said. “Raped … It feels like a kind of weird — just weird, man.” The statement raised eyebrows and drew criticism, leading Depp to quickly issue a statement of apology and regret. “I am truly sorry for offending anyone in any way. I never meant to. It was a poor choice of words on my part in an effort to explain a feeling,” Depp said in the statement. “I understand there is no comparison and I am very regretful. In an effort to correct my lack of judgment, please accept my heartfelt apology.”
Yes, a poor choice of words. That’s what that was. It’s not the fact that you said getting paid shitloads of money to consensually have your picture taken is like being forced to have non-consexual sex, it’s the fact that you just worded it wrong. All right celebrities, huddle up here: Ya’ll crazy motherfuckers really need to stop saying that being rich, beloved and famous is like rape. Because it totally isn’t. You know what is like rape? Rape. Rape is the only thing that is like rape. Now please go back to feeling sorry for yourself because you have it way better than 99% of humanity.
