So as we edge ever closer to Hugh Hefner‘s signing away his entire fortune to a 25-year-old gold-digger wedding to Crystal Harris, Hef decided to open up about his relationship and how he’s “consistent” because he’s still banging women in their 20’s just like when he was younger. The only difference is that now they’re only dating him for his money while simultaneously trying not to vomit every time his tube-sock-full-of-mashed-potatoes touches them.
“If you’re in good health, age is just a number,” he said. “I’m consistent; when I was 20 I was dating 20-year-old girls and now I’m 85 I’m still dating them.” When asked whether he and Crystal have much in common, Hef replied, “Yes, we do. A very similar sense of humor. I can’t foresee having a happier relationship than this one in the years ahead for me.” SOURCE
Oh good, they share a sense of humor. Which I’m sure will come in handy when she’s trying to replace your viagra with rat poison. “What’s this? Another cyanide pill in my boner meds meant to kill me so that you can drain my bank account? Ha ha! Oh Crystal, you cut up, you. Let’s go to bed, and this time, try not to smother me with a pillow during the night.”