Hugh Hefner apparently hates money!

Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris

Because let’s face it, at this point Hugh Hefner is so goddamn close to death he can teabag the grim reaper, The Hef apparently decided to marry Crystal Harris without a prenup despite the fact that she’s a quarter of his age and in all likelihood will smother him with a pillow for the inheritance the first chance she gets. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the- Goddammit, NO. You will wait until your honeymoon to strangle your husband with his own bow tie.”

He’s 84 and worth $43 million … she’s 24 and knows he’s worth $43 million — yet sources close to Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris tell TMZ neither has uttered those dreaded words … “prenuptial agreement.” Hef’s third wedding is just 10 weeks away, but we’re told he hasn’t raised a prenup convo because he “actually cares” about Crystal and doesn’t want to ask her to sign one. We’re told Crystal doesn’t think Hef will bring it up before they tie the knot. SOURCE

In all fairness, I would only fuck Hugh Hefner for $43 million too. I mean really, one wrinkly chode and I’m set for life? That’s a pretty sweet deal. And in exchange, he doesn’t have to die alone, which is a fair trade-off really. It’s like my mother always says, “You can’t put a price on good pussy”. Except for now. Good pussy could be worth $43 million. IT’S MATH.

Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris

About JEREMY FEIST 4832 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.