Help control the dumb ass population; fix your idiots

Because of fucking course they have one, Flesh-Coloured Pedo-Beard is shopping around a sex tape featuring his inflata-wife, Heidi Montag and one of the twins that was hob-knobbing Hugh Hefner‘s impotent, geriatric dong. Thankfully, they’re all handling this in the most dignified of ways…

“Promises you the Citizen Kane of sex tapes. Honestly, Orson Wells makes a guest appearance,” Spencer Pratt tweeted over the weekend. “Recommends you wait for the Special Edition Sex Tape. Blu-Ray, director’s commentary, & bloopers!”



[…] “@spencerpratt F U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” [Heidi Montag] tweeted.



[…] “@spencerpratt FUCK YOU!!!!” [Karissa Shannon] tweeted. SOURCE

I’m sorry, did I say MOST dignified? I actually meant LEAST. On the plus side, I doubt this tape will ever be released, mostly because (A) It does not exist, and (B) these people are too stupid to sell a sex tape. The amount of brain cells between the three of them can’t even be divided by two.

About JEREMY FEIST 4970 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.