In another desperate move to remain relevant, Flesh-Coloured Pedo-Beard (I refuse to use his real name, thereby giving him any attention whatsoever) used all the money he made giving back-alley handy’s outside Applebee’s to reunite Snooki with her boyfriend after America’s favourite Oompa-Loompa got arrested last week.
Snooki’s ex Emilio Masella rushed back to the Jersey Shore over the weekend following her arrest last week and was sent by a surprising person: [Name Redacted]!
“I heard she was in jail so I asked [Name Redacted] to help me get her out and he sent me here to the shore,” Emilio told RadarOnline.com. “I just wanted to tell Snooki how much I love her.” SOURCE
Gosh, I never took Flesh-Coloured Pedo-Beard for much of a romantic, considering his last marriage was about as real as his wife’s … everything, but obviously, the guy is like a modern day cupid! Honestly, no power on Earth will ever be able to keep those two crazy guido kids apart! Well, except for MTV. And the Miami Police Department. And possibly melanoma.
