Look, usually after an awards show, we do one quick post to wrap things up and leave it at that. But the Grammys were … dude, that was a whole lot of crazy and diva realness crammed into one show, so we’re actually going to have to spread this one out over a couple of posts for the day. Hell, we can’t even put the full list of winners here, because there are like fifty bajillion winners, so I’m just going to condense it to the people who won awards last night. The truncated list, via Access Hollywood …
– Album of the year: “Babel,” Mumford & Sons.
– Record of the year: “Somebody That I Used to Know,” Gotye featuring Kimbra.
– Song of the year: “We Are Young,” fun.
– New artist: fun.
– Pop solo performance: “Set Fire to the Rain (Live),” Adele.
– Pop vocal album: “Stronger,” Kelly Clarkson.
– Rock performance: “Lonely Boy,” The Black Keys.
– Urban contemporary album: “Channel Orange,” Frank Ocean.
– Rap/sung collaboration: “No Church in the Wild,” Jay-Z, Kanye West featuring Frank Ocean, The-Dream.
– Country solo performance: “Blown Away,” Carrie Underwood.
– Country album: “Uncaged,” Zac Brown Band.
First off, to whoever was in charge of editing the punctuation for fun.: DAMMIT, YOU HAD ONE JOB. ONE JOB. Seriously, it is a syntax nightmare talking about you guys. Second, I don’t know who the Zac Brown Band is, but there were like a dozen of them on stage last night, and not one bothered showering. Seriously, I could smell their collective funk through the television. And finally, HAHAHA! Chris Brown didn’t win anything but sadly he was sitting next to Rihanna, they’re officially back on.