I’m not even going to try and pretend like the Grammys are worth more than a frozen dog turd because let’s face it, no one takes the awards seriously anyway, so I’ll just cut to the chase: Adele won everything, Bon Iver picked up a couple well-deserved awards, Amy Winehouse picked one up posthumously, and Chris Brown beat a bunch of people to win an award. Emphasis on the beat because hey, remember how Chris nearly beat a woman to death and left her for dead? Because I remember how Chris nearly beat a woman to death and left her for dead. The Huffington Post reports:
Album of the Year: “21,” Adele
Record of the Year: “Rolling in the Deep,” Adele
Song of the Year: “Rolling in the Deep,” Adele Adkins & Paul Epworth
New Artist: Bon Iver
Pop Solo Performance: “Someone Like You,” Adele
Pop Performance by a Duo or Group: “Body and Soul,” Tony Bennett & Amy Winehouse
Pop Vocal Album: “21,” Adele
Alternative Album: “Bon Iver,” Bon Iver
Rock Song: “Walk,” Foo Fighters
Rock Album: “Wasting Light,” Foo Fighters
Rock Performance: “Walk,” Foo Fighters
Hard Rock/Metal Performance: “White Limo,” Foo Fighters
R&B Album: “F.A.M.E.,” Chris Brown
R&B Song: “Fool For You,” Cee Lo Green, Melanie Hallim & Jack Splash
R&B Performance: “Is This Love,” Corrine Bailey Rae
Traditional R&B Vocal Performance: “Fool For You,” Cee Lo Green & Melanie Fiona
Rap Album: “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy,” Kanye West
Rap Performance: “Otis,” Jay-Z and Kanye West
Rap Song: “All of the Lights,” Jeff Bhasker, Stacy Ferguson, Malik Jones, Warren Trotter & Kanye West
Rap/Sung Collaboration: “All of the Lights,” Kanye West, Rihanna, Kid Cudi & Fergie
Dance Recording: “Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites,” Skrillex
Dance/Electronica Album: “Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites,” Skrillex
Musical Theater Album: “The Book of Mormon,” Robert Lopez, Trey Parker & Matt Stone
World Music Album: “Tassili,” Tinariwen
Latin Pop Rock, Rock or Urban Album: “Drama y Luz,” Mana
Tropical Latin Album: “Last Mambo,” Cachao
Banda or Norteno Album: “Los Tigres Del Norte and Friends,” Los Tigres Del Norte
Regional Mexican or Tejano Album: “Bicentenario,” Pepe Aguilar
Country Solo Performance: “Mean,” Taylor Swift
Country Album: “Own the Night,” Lady Antebellum
Country Performance by a Duo or Group: “Barton Hollow,” The Civil Wars
Country Song: “Mean,” Taylor Swift
Jazz Vocal Album: “The Mosaic Project,” Terri Lyne Carrington & various artists
Jazz Instrumental Album: “Forever,” Corea, Clark & White
Improvised Jazz Solo: “500 Miles High,” Chick Corea
Large Ensemble Jazz Album: “The Good Feeling,” Christian McBride Big Band
Blues Album: “Revelator,” Tedeschi Trucks Band
Folk Album: “Barton Hollow,” The Civil Wars
Pop Instrumental Album: “The Road From Memphis,” Booker T. Jones
Bluegrass Album: “Paper Airplane,” Alison Krauss & Union Station
Americana Album: “Ramble at the Ryman,” Levon Helm
Reggae Album: “Revelation Pt. 1: The Root of Life,” Stephen Marley
New Age Album: “What’s It All About,” Pat Metheny
Children’s Album: “All About Bullies… Big and Small,” various artists
Producer of the Year, Non-Classical: Paul Epworth
Remixed Recording, Non-Classical: “Cinema (Skrillex remix),” Sonny Moore
Gospel Song: “Hello Fear,” Kirk Franklin
Gospel/Contemporary Christian Performance: “Jesus,” L’Andria Johnson
Gospel Album: “Hello Fear,” Kirk Franklin
Choral Performance: “Light & Gold,” Eric Whitacre
Classical Contemporary Composition: “Elmer Gantry,” Robert Aldridge & Herschel Garfein
Producer of the Year, Classical: Judith Sherman
Orchestral Performance: “Brahms: Symphony No. 4,” Gustavo Dudamel
Opera Recording: “Adams: Doctor Atomic,” Alan Gilbert, conductor
Spoken Word Album: “If You Ask Me (And Of Course You Won’t),” Betty White
Comedy Album: “Hilarious,” Louis C.K.
Compilation Soundtrack Album For Visual Media: “Boardwalk Empire,” various artists
Score Soundtrack Album For Visual Media: “The King’s Speech,” Alexandre Desplat
Song Written For Visual Media: “I See the Light,” Alan Menken & Glenn Slater
Historical Album: “Band on the Run (Paul McCartney Archive Collection – Deluxe Edition),” Paul McCartney
Instrumental Arrangement Accompanying Vocalists: “Who Can I Turn To (When Nobody Needs Me),” Jorge Calandrelli
But who are we kidding, all of that matters even less than it usually does because Whitney Houston died, so here’s the most talked about part: Jennifer Hudson performing Whitney’s I Will Always Love You.
