You know, for the longest time, I didn’t get the raw, sexual appeal of Justin Bieber. I looked down on Beliebers, saying that they were deifying a mediocre singer of average aesthetic because they were easily swayed little girls who didn’t know better. But now, after watching Justin get roasted by Chris D’Elia at The Laugh Factory, only to defend himself by saying he “f*cks bitches”? I get it now! I totally get it! Man, the thought of having eight seconds of disappointing sex with Justin, only to have him turn around and say he “f*cks bitches”? My gawd, I’m practically in a puddle with anticipation. I get it. I totally get it now. He’s my soul mate. Ours shall be a spring wedding!
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