Farrah Abraham sold out Charlie Sheen …

Charlie Sheen and Farrah Abraham

Charlie Sheen and Farrah Abraham

Because Farrah Abraham is so successful now and has a reality TV deal lined up and everything, she decided to call up Charlie Sheen and proposition for the chance to be one of his goddesses. Is he still doing goddesses? Maybe, I don’t know. Well, she and Charlie exchanged a few texts before Farrah immediately turned around and sold them to the highest bidder because … well, she’s Farrah. Being a deceitful, calculating douche is her modus operandi. Turns out, Charlie doesn’t appreciate being taken for a ride, and proceeded to rip her to shreds, read his letter to her below. Via TMZ

hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua;

I truly do not recall giving you permission to globally reveal any communication between us. congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at porn.

your daughter must be so proud.

please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you. the world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life.

oh and I’m sure they’ll wave the cover charge when they see your tranny-boobs and five o’clock shadow.

bye!
cs.

Wait, did Charlie really expect anything else from her? Dude got tangled up with a lying, manipulative asswad who literally brought her toddler daughter to porn negotiations for the sake of press, a move that even the owner of Vivid Video looked at and went, “Hey, you probably shouldn’t bring your toddler here, because that’s messed up.” At this point, he’s probably just thankful that she didn’t tell the press they secretly eloped to the moon.

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Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.