So Eva Longoria was on David Letterman last night to promote her new cookbook, and – No, really, she has a cookbook. I know, right? I didn’t even know the bitch knew how to eat. Anyway, she showed up wearing a blazer, hot pants and absolutely nothing else, which of course means it was only before one of her ta-tas tried to jailbreak that shit. Not that I mind at all here; it’s a nipple for Christ’s sake, it’s not like she pulled out a gun and started firing it off at the audience. Besides, if you’re going to promote your cooking, flashing a tit is still a hell of a lot better way to pimp it out than, I don’t know, say turning down a Make-A-Wish kid (*cough* Barefoot Cuntessa *cough*)!