So the Emmys were handed out last night …

Aaaaaaaaand nothing really exciting happened. Everyone was nice to each other, no drinks were thrown (although that did happen somewhere else this weekend … that will come later) and even Charlie Sheen somehow managed to wander onstage and be graceful and sober despite being that guy who once shot his wife and then tried to make a mansion out of breast implants and crystal meth. So yeah, that pretty much encapsulates the entire night. Now here are all the winners via The Huffington Post!

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy
Julie Bowen, Modern Family

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy
Ty Burrell, Modern Family

Outstanding Directing For A Comedy Series
Michael Alan Spiller, Modern Family

Outstanding Writing For A Comedy Series
Steve Levitan & Jeffrey Richman, Modern Family

Outstanding Actor in a Comedy
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Outstanding Actress in a Comedy
Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly

Outstanding Reality Competition Program
The Amazing Race

Outstanding Writing For A Variety, Music Or Comedy Series
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Outstanding Directing For A Variety, Music, Or Comedy Series
Don Roy King, Saturday Night Live

Outstanding Variety, Music Or Comedy Series
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Outstanding Writing For A Drama Series
Jason Katims, Friday Night Lights

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series
Margo Martindale, Justified

Outstanding Directing In For A Drama Series
Martin Scorsese, Boardwalk Empire

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones

Outstanding Actress in a Drama
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife

Outstanding Actor in a Drama
Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights

Outstanding Writing For A Miniseries, Movie Or A Dramatic Special
Julian Fellowes, Downton Abbey

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Mini-series or Movie
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

Outstanding Leading Actor in an Mini-Series or Movie
Barry Pepper, The Kennedys

Outstanding Directing For A Miniseries, Movie Or A Dramatic Special
Brian Percival, Downton Abbey

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Mini-series or Movie
Guy Pearce, Mildred Pierce

Outstanding Leading Actress in a Mini-series or Movie
Kate Winslet, Mildred Pierce

Outstanding TV Miniseries or Movie
Downton Abbey

Outstanding Drama Series
Mad Men

Outstanding Comedy Series
Modern Family

So there’s that. Nothing really all that exciting. Modern Family won ALL THE THINGS, and Peter Dinklage got his own well-deserved Emmy for Game of Thrones and … okay, I’m just going to say it, does anyone else think Peter has a super handsome face? He does! He really does. He is just a handsome guy. And fuck you, I don’t care if he’s a little person, he just has a very classic look to him. Only … you know, fun-sized. Whatever, he’s still taller than most gay porn stars if you can believe it.