Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher: DIVORCING!

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Christ, it’s about time … although the Ashton Kutcher cheating on Demi Moore scandal sort of petered out after everyone realized less talented people were getting divorced, and because everyone was more focused on Ashton defending a child molester enabler, it looks like Demi finally worked up the chutzpah necessary to slap not-Charlie Sheen with divorce papers. So you know, maybe next time Ashton won’t stick it in skanks during his wedding anniversary. TMZ reports:

The 49-year-old Moore says she’s ending her marriage “with great sadness and a heavy heart.” Demi says, “as a woman, a mother and a wife, there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life.” Ashton just tweeted, “I will forever cherish the time I spent with Demi. Marriage is one of the most difficult things in the world and unfortunately sometimes they fail” — though it’s unclear if this message was approved by his Twitter team.

Oh for … seriously? That’s what concerns you about this? Whether or not these comments were run past Ashton’s TWITTER TEAM?! All right, one last time because everyone seems to be forgetting this: TWITTER IS NOT A DIVORCE COURT. If someone says “this marriage blows, I want a divorce”, they are not legally obligated to send a direct message to Wil Wheaton to get his approval. I mean, it doesn’t hurt, but still … not how this works.

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

About JEREMY FEIST 4832 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.