Courtney Stodden is making music!

Courtney Stodden

Once again, humanity fails to realize that just because you’re really good at one thing (i.e. riding 51-year-old dick into infamy despite being a teenager) doesn’t mean you’d be good at something completely different (i.e. singing). Anyway, logic has never stopped Courtney Stodden before, so why now? So now she’s decided she’s going to try and be a singer again, because what pop music was missing was a blonde, untalented whore filtering banal thoughts through auto-tune. The Daily Mail reports:

Wearing a revealing dress and her favourite perspex platform heels, Courtney, 17, spent the afternoon working on her ‘new single’ with two Orange County-based music producers. Posing inside the studio, Courtney refused to reveal the name of her new single, but she said: ‘It’s wonderful to be back in the studio again. ‘People have been contacting me all the time asking when my next song is coming out.’During her studio session on Saturday she could be found posting poetic prose such as: ‘While hardcore hits dominate my every move – I suddenly strip – & jump on top of a sexy sports car as I begin to wash it uncontrollably!’

Once again, does anybody else remember when Heidi Montag did this exact same thing? And then it barely even sold a single album and she was out millions of dollars? Well God speed, Courtney. The faster you pump out your generic disco whore pop, the faster you can lose whatever trick money you’ve saved up and we can finally be rid of you.

Courtney Stodden

About JEREMY FEIST 4832 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.