I think we all thought this one was too fail to be true, right? Right. Anyway, at the risk of disappointing you all, it turns out Lindsay Lohan is denying that Courtney Love is her sobriety coach, although when you think about it, this is just the words of one cracked-out blonde against the words of another cracked out blonde. It’s like watching two armless men try to punch each other to death. Gossip Cop reports:
The site quotes Love as saying that she’s taken over as Lohan’s sobriety coach “because no one else will,” and that the actress is “further down the line than I was” with those same issues. RadarOnline then has an anecdote in which Love recounts to Details about how she tried to help Lohan.
“I went up to Lindsay’s room one time and there was a show on called 101 Celebrity Oops and I am like every other one, you know – boobs out, legs everywhere, throwing s**t at Madonna, you know, whatever … I’m like ‘Lindsay, look! Drugs are bad!’”
Not only is that last quote confusing, but a rep for the mag says the anecdote isn’t even in the Details article. Oops. So, is Love really Lohan’s sobriety coach? Nope. Lohan tells Gossip Cop exclusively, “She’s not.”
Our first mistake was assuming Courtney was capable of talking and Lindsay was capable of listening.
Courtney: Lindsay, you garble blarble gluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurg.
Lindsay: Shut the hell up! I’m perfect and I can do whatever I want!
Then they would both smoke / snort / drink / punch / pass out. Stop me if I’m being to prescient here.