Oh Charlie Sheen …

Charlie Sheen and Kacey Jordan

Well, you knew it was going to happen eventually. One of Charlie Sheen‘s hookers from his now infamous Whore-a-thon last month had to get an abortion, and apparently, it may or may not have been his. Aaaaaaaaaand I can’t come up with a joke to make abortion funny. You’re on your own here people.

Kacey Jordan said that when she and Charlie had sex during a 36-hour cocaine binge that landed him in the hospital, they tried using a condom but she “kept having to put it on again.” She also talked about how impressed she was at Charlie’s ability to finish under the influence of alcohol and drugs – when she arrived his eyes were already half-shut from drinking. “The drugs didn’t even come until the following morning, and then we had sex after he had the drugs,” she said. “I was really proud of him, I couldn’t believe he could do it.” SOURCE

For the record: Yes, I’m pro-choice. Woman have the right to choose whatever they want to do with their bodies. But I still can’t come up with material for this. All I can say is that … well, maybe this was for the best. Can you imagine having them having to explain the kid’s conception? “Well sweetie, when a man and a woman love each other very much, Daddy eats an entire briefcase full of cocaine, then they have two minutes of disappointing sex followed by Daddy promising to buy Mommy a new car. And that’s how you create a welfare check- I mean a baby.”

Charlie Sheen and Kacey Jordan

About JEREMY FEIST 4832 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.