For some reason, Canadian popstar Carly Rae Jepsen (“Call Me Maybe”) was invited to throw the opening pitch at a baseball game over the weekend, and already I’m way over my head in sports, so suffice to say the poor girl kind of blew it. Hard. Which isn’t much of a judgment call on my part because I can’t throw worth shit. I once tried to pantomime throwing a football during a game of charades with my family (the answer was Varsity Blues) and, no joke, they guessed Bee Movie. Yes, I throw so badly that it defies film genre. I am ashamed of myself, Carly must feel the same way.