Since the first US season of The X Factor gave us the craptastic failure pile that was the indecisive Nicole Scherzinger and the perma-woozy Paula Abdul, it only makes sense that this season we need to go in the complete opposite direction, by bringing in a judge known for her excellent live singing, intelligence, and decision-making skills. And somehow, that happens to be Britney Spears. Yeah, I didn’t see that one coming either. TMZ reports:
We’re told Britney’s team and X Factor big wigs are working out “the fine points” of the deal, but the major terms are locked. Once the final contract is drafted and signed … it will go to Jamie Spears, Britney’s daddy and conservator, as well as lawyers for the conservatorship. If they sign off, it must then go to the judge who oversees the conservatorship for approval. Sources connected with the deal tell us … it’s a “virtual certainty” everyone will sign off. By the way, we’re told Jason Trawick is “very involved” in the negotiations. Simon Cowell, the X Factor Executive Producer, told us on TMZ Live, “I would love to have her on the show. I think she would be a fascinating person to sit next to.” Simon said they may make an announcement within a week.
Not that Britney isn’t a sweet, lovely girl, but considering her career has been one major corporate decision after another that ultimately lead her to a massive break-down, she might not be the best person to- Oh, wait. Actually, that would make the most sense. Who else could prepare the contestants for everything they’ll have to deal with when it comes to their record labels? “All right, now you’re gonna wanna just sit there in every meeting, nodding your head, internalizing every unfair, utilitarian choice they make until you implode in a black hole of white trash hanger-ons and blended coffee drinks. Aaaaaaaaand five-six-seven-eight JAZZ HANDS!”