British Film Critics Are Kinda Bitchy

What better way to cap off the year than with a film anthology that really does nothing more than get really bitchy about a bunch of film stars? Well hum hallelujah, because British film critic David Thomson has released The New Biographical Dictionary of Film, and he’s taking everyone down with him.

Tom Cruise is the worst of the spoiled brats of Hollywood,” writes Thomson, who has been a fixture in film critique for 35 years.

He calls Hilary Swank‘s work “dull” and “ordinary.”

Demi Moore didn’t make out any better. “She has no dramatic sense,” writes Thomson.

He tackles Matt Damon for his “lack of good looks” and his “squashed and rebuilt face.”

And Matt’s best buddy Ben Affleck? Thomson calls him “boring, complacent and criminally lucky to have got away with everything so far.” That hurts!

“While one can make gentle fun of Jennifer Aniston, it’s hard to dislike her,” he writes. SOURCE

For the record, this is hilarious if you read this in The Queen of England‘s voice. Awwww, it’s adorable because she’s old and sweet and she’s saying terrible things… Ha ha, thanks England! we now forgive you for your terrible cooking.

About JEREMY FEIST 4832 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.