Remember Gerard Butler in 300? You know, well-oiled muscles, skimpy loincloth, super badass? Hold on to the spank bank fantasies, because here comes Brandi Glanville, who you might know from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and formerly from Eddie Cibrian‘s penis, to take a big steaming dump all over Gerard’s sexiness. Why? Turns out, they banged for an entire week. And now his genitals have been tainted. Even his taint has been tainted. And that just sounds redundant! Us Weekly reports:
Brandi Glanville teased that that she and the Scottish actor — who once palled around with Bounty Hunter costar Jennifer Aniston — “had a little week of fun.” Host Andy Cohen then asked Glanville to rate Butler “on a scale of one to ten” as a lover. “11!” Glanville replied. Indeed, a source told Us last fall that Glanville “messed around” with Butler “since leaving Eddie.”
So apparently, Gerard’s screening process for sex is basically checking a box marked “Vagina?” and then plowing away while hoping that he doesn’t walk away with more crabs than a cup of New England chowder. I’m not saying Gerard’s bedroom is easier to get into than a public park, but if Brandi can lie around in there for a week, I can walk in there with a picture of a Fleshlight and live rent-free for a month.