bill cosby is not dead

File this under “Twitter declares another living person dead”: Bill Cosby wants you all to know he’s not dead. For the fourth time. After Twitter went ahead and pronounced the reigning king of the Pudding Pops dead, Bill decided enough was enough and that the next person who says he’s dead is going to get a size 11 boot up their ass (I may be paraphrasing here.)

To Cosby, who has joked about past Twitter deaths, this hoax hit home because his family became involved. “I found out when my daughter called the house,” he said. She told him that friends and family were calling her crying. “Dad, people are calling me, are you all right?” Cosby then had a message to anyone who knows someone that has started the rumors. “Maybe psychiatrists will say I’m feeding this person’s ego, but I just want to say to friends of that person, just tell them to stop. Because it isn’t funny.” SOURCE

Well, there are basically two ways this can go down: the first is that Bill Cosby is not dead and is about to go on what critics would call a Pudding Pop fueled roaring rampage of destruction. The second is that he actually is dead and zombie Bill Cosby will destroy us all. I’m leaning towards the former, although just to err on the safe side, I’m gonna be wearing a brain protecting helmet for the next little while. No zombie Bill Cosby’s gonna be eating my delicious brains.

About JEREMY FEIST 4970 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.