As everyone knows, fans make everything prettier. It’s why at any point during the summer there are fans installed in every nook of my apartment to make sure I have the illusion of movement and also so I don’t spontaneously combust from the heat. My hyrdo bill’s pretty high, but that’s okay. It’s worth it. Anyway, during a concert, one of Beyoncé‘s fans ended up snagging her hair, and she basically had to sit down and sing for a minute while security made sure she didn’t end up getting scalped. Via TMZ …
Queen B was performing “Halo” in Montreal when disaster struck … but like the PRO that she is, Beyoncé continued to sing during the incident, NEVER ONCE MISSING A SINGLE BEAT. Eventually, a crew member with a pair of scissors cut Beyonce free … and she sashayed away from the devil equipment. After the show, Beyonce posted a poetic note to her fans explaining the situation … saying, “I got snatched.”
Not to be a worry wart or anything, but OH GAWD, THE MACHINES HAVE BECOME AGGRESSIVE AND HAVE DEVELOPED A TASTE FOR HUMAN HAIR. It’s only a matter of time now. Soon they’ll start learning, then they’ll move on to using tools, and then … the takeover will have started. Why didn’t we learn anything from the Terminator movies? They were so informative!