So despite the fact that seeing the words ANDY DICK on the marquee should be a pretty obvious hint of shit that will go down, someone actually bought tickets to see Andy perform live because people with money are stupid. But wait, it gets worse! The guy who bought the tickets decided to sit as close to Andy as possible. And it gets even worse: Andy Dick pulled off his dress (does that really surprise you?) and proceeded to rub his junk in the guy’s face. Which is the sort of thing you’d expect from Andy Dick, really.
According to the lawsuit, filed in Dallas by a man named Robert Tucker, Andy was dressed like a woman during part of his act back in December 2010 — wearing a red skirt and a wig — when he walked into the crowd. Tucker claims Andy approached him in the crowd and “pulled down his costume skirt with his right hand, exposing the fact the he was not wearing underwear beneath the skirt.” Tucker says Andy then “forced his genitals against the left side of [Robert’s] face.” SOURCE
How is Andy Dick not dead? And no, I don’t mean that in a philosophical sort of way, I mean the guy eats crystal meth like cereal and I’m pretty sure he’s classified as nuclear waste by the EPA. Logically speaking, his face should have melted off like those Nazis looking into the ark of the covenant years ago. Hell, the fact that he’s still in a solid physical state (as opposed to, say, human soup) is a miracle.