WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Will.I.Am is an idiot!

Will.I.Am is an idiot!

Will.I.Am

Just in case that weird-ass sound bite about how My Humps wasn’t a ‘Lyrical Miracle’ didn’t tip you off, Will.I.Am is fucking stupid. Is that established? Good, moving on. In an interview with Elle magazine (yeah, I’m not sure why he’s chatting with Elle either. Desperation? Yeah, let’s go with that), Will.I.Am pretty much made it perfectly clear that he has weird, latent mommy issues that would make Freud shit himself, and he thinks that women who buy condoms are weirdos and he’d never sleep with them. As I said: FUCKING STUPID.

ELLE: If you walked into a woman’s house, what one item would convince you that you weren’t compatible?
W: If she had condoms in her house, that would just fuckin’ throw me off. That’s just tacky.

ELLE: Well, okay, I could see if she had a candy bowl full of them on the coffee table. But if she’s got a few in a drawer, wouldn’t that simply suggest she’s health-conscious?

W: I just think, like, if you’re into someone and you guys get to that level, then that’s something you should converse about together and say, “Hey, maybe we should get some.” Another pet peeve is wet sinks. SOURCE

Yes, practicing safe sex is tacky. Completely tacky. And you know what’s super classy? STDS! Syphilis is super hot right now. Oh yes, the rash, the chancre sores, the slow descent into madness, the compromised eyesight, the increased risk of being infected by HIV… so fashionable. And apparently, penicillin is really coming back into vogue now too. Nothing says “I’m a trend setter!” like getting two shots of medicine injected in your ass!

Will.I.Am