Want to buy Lindsay Lohan’s storage unit?

Some of you might remember a couple years ago when Paris Hilton‘s storage locker was auctioned off, and a bunch of incriminating stuff ended up exposed for everyone to see. Well, now it’s happening to Lindsay Lohan, and you know your career has gone straight to hell when you start accidentally emulating Paris. Actually, purposely emulating Paris is probably even worse, so let’s just cut our losses here and say that Paris is the origin of all humanity’s greatest evils. TMZ reports …

Sources close to Lindsay tell us … LiLo has fallen behind on paying her monthly bill … and now owes roughly $16,000 to the storage company.

The account is now delinquent and the locker can’t be opened until the balance is paid in full … and that’s not going to happen because Lindsay doesn’t have the cash. As we reported, her financial situation is so desperate the IRS has frozen her bank accounts because of unpaid back taxes.

So here’s the upshot. If Lindsay doesn’t get a big check for XMAS, her storage unit will be auctioned off this month. We’re told she’s reached out to family and friends to front her the money but so far no one is biting.

Wait, Lindsay tried to get her friends and family to help her here? Who are we kidding, we all know this is probably how it went:

Lindsay: Mom, I need $16,000 to buy back my storage locker or else all my stuff will get auctioned off!
Dina Lohan: Don’t worry honey, I’ll get you some money. Give me a second …
*Pulls out phone, dials number*
Lindsay: *Phone starts ringing, picks it up.* Hello?
Dina: Lindsay, it’s me, Dina. I need $20,000 for my daughter.
Lindsay: Mom, you’re trying to give my money back to me- Wait, why did you ask for $4,000 extra?
Dina: … No reason.

Lindsay Lohan

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

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