Quantcast
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Who wants a lap dance from Britney Spears?

Who wants a lap dance from Britney Spears?
June 21, 2011 JEREMY FEIST
Britney Spears

Anyone … anyone? No? Okay then. Anyway, despite the fact that she’s given up on even pretending to perform at this point and looks like she could give nary a fuck, someone decided it would be a great idea if Britney Spears invited a fan onstage for one of her concerts and give the poor, unfortunate bastard a lap dance, a sensation you can recreate at home by putting a blonde wig on a bag of laundry and telling it that if it finishes the concert, daddy will take it to “McDonurds” for some “firnch fries”.

Britney Spears gave one very lucky – and very surprised looking – fan a sexy lap dance Monday night at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. The pop tart shimmied and shaked as she teasingly put a pink boa around the fan’s neck , and then really stunned the fan when she straddled him from behind while singing Lace and Leather. SOURCE

Having watched the lap dance in question, let me just say: You’re doing it wrong. I particularly enjoyed the part where the dancers circle the guy in a way that’s supposed to be sexy, but honestly, just looks like a group of sharks circling an inflatable life-raft full of two-dimensional teenagers. Seriously, you could get that Honey Badger guy to narrate over this and it would make total sense. “Look at that Britney Spears … she’s provocative! Bitch’ll dance until the world ends, she don’t care. Britney is gonna assault that’s guy’s crotch with her b-hole and he’s just gonna sit there and take it ’cause he’s so nasty. Britney’s just envisioning him as a giant cheeto now. Bitch loves her cheetos.”

Britney Spears

PHOTO | FAME PICTURES