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Who wants a Ryan Seacrest inflatable sex doll?

Who wants a Ryan Seacrest inflatable sex doll?
November 1, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Ryan Seacrest Inflatable Sex Doll

In today’s “this is a thing that exists, and I’m not entirely sure it won’t become sentient and kill us all” news, Ryan Seacrest has his own inflatable sex / love doll now, thanks to the people at Pipedream (NSFW). Yeah, apparently they could have chosen anyone in Hollywood, and they went with Ryan. I’m not judging, I’m just saying, kind of a weird pick. But whatevs, RadarOnline reports …

“The Most Powerful Perv in Television Has A Dirty Little Secret!” is the slogan the company, Pipedream, uses to promote the product. Along with things that are far too sexual to publish, the company alleges that Seacrest, 38, is bisexual, which has never been proven or admitted. The Seacrest doll is the company’s latest in their Super Star Series which also includes celebs like Lindsay Lohan, Justin Bieber and Katy Perry.

All right, I’ve been connecting the dots, and I can kind of see the thinking behind this one. Kim Kardashian is super famous, and she started off with a sex tape, and Ryan is responsible for making her a thing, so now he has his own sex doll. Okay, that’s not the best train of thought in the world, but at least I tried dammit! I don’t see you tacking pictures of people onto a corkboard and connecting them with strands of brightly colored yarn! *Watches more Homeland* Oh Carrie, can you go like five minutes without crying?

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.