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Watch Shia LaBeouf’s drunken apology

Watch Shia LaBeouf’s drunken apology
January 17, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Shia LaBeouf

It’s been a week or so since Shia LaBeouf rage-quit his career over everyone bashing him as a plagiarizing hack, and like all entitled douches, it didn’t take him long to get himself in trouble all over again. Last night, TMZ got video of Shia headbutting a guy, because he’s a badboy who doesn’t play by your rules! And also he saw a video of Zinedine Zidane doing it once and presumably went “MINE!” Anyway, now Shia’s apologizing for the whole thing and wants you all to know how normal he is.

Shia LaBeouf was conciliatory and remorseful after he headbutted a guy in a London pub, claiming he’s just like the next guy with faults and all, adding, “I’m super normal.” LaBeouf got into a nuclear argument with the other bar patron Thursday night in the London pub, Hobgoblin. After the fight, LaBeouf reiterates the fight was over his girl’s mom. You hear him say he gets angry when “people s**t on my girl’s mom.”

Shia: Thanks for record this, TMZ. I want to set the record straight with an apology I wrote all by myself.
TMZ: Yes. By yourself. Go on.
Shia: I apologize, and I know I must suffer for my crime. Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune —
TMZ: That’s just the soliloquy from Hamlet. Are you that stupid or is this just a stunt?
Shia: I’m an artist you uncultured swine! It’s a performance art piece about creativity and stuff.
TMZ: Well, your art sucks and you’re terrible.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.