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Justin Bieber’s videotaped deposition is out!

Justin Bieber’s videotaped deposition is out!
March 10, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Justin Bieber

All right kiddies, gather round, because I’ve got something to tell you: I’m currently bundled up in about five layers of sweater because I caught my boyfriend’s cold. My throat is killing me, my head’s swimming, my nose is on fire, and my level of “Bitch I can’t even with you right now” is currently set to Eleven. Thousand. Eleven thousand. So here’s Justin Bieber acting like a snotty little sh!t during his deposition, and oh my gawd you stupid twinky bitch, I can’t even with you right now. TMZ reports …

TMZ obtained a copy of the entire 4 1/2 hour, videotaped depo … and it’s just unreal. We’ve boiled it down to what we think are the best 4 clips.

1. ARROGANT BIEBER — He just can’t hide his contempt for the photog’s lawyer, and it comes out in pretty awful ways. We put some snippets together and you’ll get the idea. It represents his attitude throughout the repo.

2. LOVESICK BIEBER — Selena Gomez is clearly a hot button, because when the lawyer asks about her, everyone goes nuclear. Bieber eventually rips his mic off and he and his lawyer storm out.

3. CONTENTIOUS BIEBER — He compares his interrogation to being grilled by Katie Couric or “60 MInutes.” Simply hilarious.

4. DISRESPECTFUL BIEBER — When asked if Usher discovered him, Bieber disses his mentor and says he was actually discovered on YouTube. The best part … he clearly was trying to say he himself was instrumental in his success, but instead he says, “I was detrimental to my own career.”

Ahahahahaha, Justin doesn’t know what words mean! But no seriously, shut your f*cking cock holster, Justin. Because I just went into the kitchen and rummaged through the medicine cabinet and took all the pills and I still can’t even with you right now. Seriously, Drisdan? Still can’t even. Vitamin C chewable tablets? Still can’t even. I even took a Truvada, even though that has absolutely nothing to do with my headcold, and I still can’t even.

PHOTO | TMZ

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.