“Usher Kicked In Face.” LOL

You know, sometimes I don’t even have to change the titles on stories; sometimes, they just fall from the sky like angels, or snowflakes, or that hooker that the people two floors up killed and then tried to throw off their balcony. Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, Usher got kicked in the face. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

The crooner brought an ecstatic female fan onstage Monday night for a serenade of his sensual song “Trading Places” at Madison Square Garden. He sat her on a couch while he caressed her. Then, after they changed positions, the overexcited fan tried to move her leg to get closer to him. Her stiletto boot heel knocked him in the nose. SOURCE

Harmless accident, or divine punishment? You decide America. You decide …

God: Hey Usher, heard you couldn’t stay off of Twitter to help all those kids with HIV …

Usher: Yeah, about that … You see, I had to give a shout-out to my crew, you know? So I – (*Stabbed in the face with a stilleto heel*)

God: BOOM! YOU JUST GOT SINGLE WHITE FEMALE‘D, MOTHER FUCKER!

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.