Justin Bieber has been forced to perform since he was a kid in Stratford, Ontario because his parents are both complete failures who had no business raising a child and figured it’d be easier just to pimp out their non-threateningly, vaguely talented offspring rather than let him live a normal healthy life. So of course, here Justin is singing about girls licking his “Lolly” (guess what he’s referring to?) in the new Maejor Ali music video. And you know what? As awkward and uncomfortable as it is watching Wonder Bread over there pretend like he’s some hardcore rapper, he’s still one of the luckier child stars. Seriously, how many kids have been pushed into stardom and how many of them came out the other side unscathed? Ron Howard? Jodie Foster? (Here’s a list of some of other child stars who’ve made it big) Kids can’t deal with that kind of pressure but we keep throwing them into it because why should parents support their kids when their kids can support them? Just ask Dina Lohan!
September 17, 2013