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Ugh: Kris Jenner wants to perform on Broadway

Ugh: Kris Jenner wants to perform on Broadway
January 27, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Kris Jenner

If you check Kris Jenner‘s IMDb page, you’d see that she has exactly one acting credit, in which she played herself on an episode of Real Husbands of Hollywood. What a stretch for her. No, really, considering her level of talent, I actually believe that was a stretch for her. Anyway, for some reason she now has the idea that she should be on Broadway, even though that requires her to know how to act. Or sing. Without auto-tune. RadarOnline reports …

“I was thinking I could do something on Broadway,” she said. “I am kind of into being on Broadway. Why not? Who says no? I like to dream big,” Kris told the cameras.

Kris hired voice coach Bob Garrett, who told her she had perfect pitch — but she ultimately screwed up singing “All That Jazz,” the song of the character Velma Kelly, played by Catherine Zeta-Jones in the 2002 movie version of Chicago.

No no no, I believe he said “perfect bitch”. As in, “Kris is such a vile, awful person that she would make the perfect bitch on any sub-par reality TV show.” Anyway, apparently Kris then called up Kathie Lee Gifford for help, only to be told that no, she sucked too hard to be on Broadway.

Kathie Lee told her about “the amount of discipline you have to have. You lose your mind. I don’t see you … having the time to do that. You’re going to feel like a monkey in the zoo.” Kris agreed “The kids need me,” she told the cameras.

Sure, whatever you have to tell yourself. I’m not saying that Kris can’t perform live up on stage somewhere. I’m just saying that live performers with her level of talent usually perform opposite a donkey in Tijuana. If they happen to be really lucky.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.